Claudia Cox, an expert on romance in the digital age, is sharing her wisdom with us today. This Guest Post offers her personal preferences and professional insights into the medium of text messaging as a messenger of modern romance… with comments from Kathryn! It’s a Valentine’s Day Extravaganza!
Texting a woman shouldn’t feel like an intense activity where one itsy bitsy wrong little move could instantly make or break your relationship. At the same time, you can’t get too sloppy, as some texting habits can be a huge turn off for women. (Kathryn Says: This is true! Case in point: unsolicited dick pics!)
So, where should you start?
I recently ran across an article on Men’sFitness.com that touched on some of the most common texting mistakes made by guys today: drunk texting, trying to make last-minute and late-night plans (booty calls), using too many abbreviations, or just being plain lazy and boring.
As I read, I was nodding my head up and down. Why? Each and every one of those mistakes is a major passion killer for me too.
ThoughtCatalog.com chimed in on the topic with an article about how women love it when men text them first, are funny and creative in messages, ask them to go on dates instead of to “hang out,” and respond in a timely manner. (Kathryn Says: Hanging out means sex without foreplay. We all know it. The charade must end.)
Once again, I couldn’t agree more.
The common theme here is that women like to be treated with respect and courtesy. We enjoy talking to men that are intelligent, funny and willing to show they care enough to get to know us outside of the bedroom. We are not attracted to men who are lazy communicators and make it all too clear that they only care about getting down and dirty. (Kathryn Notes: Unless said woman is also exclusively interested in getting down and dirty.)
Your texting behavior gives us clues about your personality and helps us hash out if you have certain traits that we’re looking for in a partner. I’m not telling you this to make you stress out over texting a woman more than you already are. (Kathryn agrees! Don’t stress out! This isn’t a test — it’s an opportunity to show us a bit more about who you really are. Believe me, there are women out there who are attracted to exactly the kind of guy you are. But they won’t know that you’re exactly what they need if you keep yourself hidden.)
As I already mentioned, you shouldn’t continuously overanalyze this very regular and normal form of communication. My goal is to make it easier for you to set yourself apart from the crowd when it comes to keeping a woman interested via texting. Throughout the rest of this article, I’ll show you how.
Here are 10 of my own personal texting preferences:
1. When he acts interested. If a guy asks questions and seems genuinely interested in getting to know me, I’m usually inclined to continue the conversation. Go ahead and ask about her family and friends, hobbies, favorite sports, dream vacation spots, or the music she likes to listen to.
2. When he asks me out on a real date. Sorry, but “Netflix and Chill” is not a real date. To me, a real date simply involves a social activity in a public setting. This doesn’t mean it has to be expensive. Taking a walk in the park, going out for breakfast, playing a game of ping pong or pool, building a snow man in the winter, or rollerblading in the summer are all examples of fun and real dates that are also easy on the finances.
3. When he knows boundaries. There’s nothing worse than getting an unwanted and unexpected dirty text message. I love flirty texting, but it has a place and a time. Two days after meeting is definitely NOT the right time to start sexting me.
4. When he gives me genuine compliments. “Hey beautiful” is a generic text that you, and millions of guys, have probably already sent to 50 other women. Instead, give genuine, specific compliments about her personality and her looks. Tell her that you love her glossy hair and the way she makes you laugh.
5. When he’s funny. I love it when a guy shows his sense of humor in a text message. Playful banter is fantastic for breaking the ice and building a relationship. Don’t be afraid to throw in a joke or make a witty, sarcastic comment. Maybe even go for an emoji!
6. When he makes gentlemanly gestures. It means a lot when a guy sends me a message to make sure I got home OK, thank me after a date, or offer to help me with something. Doing this will show her you care!
7. When he lets me know I’m on his mind. Those random “thinking of you,” “good morning,” or “good night” text messages always make me feel like a star, and they’re sure to make her feel like one too!
8. When he doesn’t waste time. I respect men who don’t beat around the bush. If you’re only after sex and not a relationship, it’s best to be direct and honest about your intentions from the get-go. Then, it’s up to her to decide if she wants to accept or pass.
9. When he hints of a later surprise. Texting is a great way to build anticipation and excitement for an event, date or gift you have planned. I love when a guy sends clues or messages that keep me guessing. Try something like, “I’m taking you somewhere special tonight! Don’t even try to guess where.”
10. When he respects my independence: A needy texter is an annoying texter. I’m often busy with work, travel, friends and family. She probably is too. Don’t ask her why she’s ignoring you. Don’t spam her inbox. She’ll text back when she can. If she doesn’t, she’s not interested.
There you have it – insight into a woman’s mind straight from the source. Knowing how to interest a woman via texting isn’t always easy, I’ll admit, but it doesn’t have to be a constant source of stress. You shouldn’t be afraid to put yourself out there! By following the hints and guidelines above, you’ll be well on your way to grabbing and keeping the attention of that woman who has your eye.
(Kathryn Notes: if she literally has your eye and is not a doctor then she probably isn’t dating material. Stay safe kids!)
Claudia is the creator of Text Weapon, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She is passionate about modern communication and loves helping people improve their relationships through flirty texting. To read more by Claudia, visit Text Weapon . Don’t forget to signup for the FREE Texting Club trial with over 300 messages. You can also hit her up on Twitter!