This week on the internet, I saw the following real life thing. A girl dated a dude for a week, got a tattoo of his face on her arm, and surprised him with it on Facebook.

This is really something that you should look up.

Needless to say, someone has to step up to the plate in the advice department here.

First of all, dude, tattoos are cool. They are hip. Your (now ex) girlfriend is obviously very fashion forward, along with being cat spit crazy.

Second of all, in this cruel, dog-eat-dog world of ours, is there any BETTER way to declare your love for a virtual stranger than by having their likeness chiseled into your skin? No! There is no better way!

The advice needed in this situation is clear to me.

Tattoo Arm Girl: Good for you for living life on the edge! You are cooky and wild! You are also a rare breed of woman. It is rare today that we meet young ladies so taken in by the idea of romantic love that they are willing to commit to it within one week of meeting a guy. That is very impressive!

T A G (Tattoo Arm Girl), your gumption for having a relationship NO MATTER WHAT has inspired me. Now, let me inspire you… by telling you exactly what you should do now.

First, concoct a perfume-typed potion that mixes your pheromonal odours with a highly addictive mood lifting narcotic. Second, find another dude that looks just like the first one, but wear long sleeved shirts until you can get him hooked on ‘your scent’.

Then just sit back, relax, and enjoy the bliss of true love!