Today we’re going to talk about something serious. Life-changingly serious. The kind of serious that is so serious that you have to practice your facial expression in the mirror before-hand, to ensure that you look serious enough to convey the serious that you feel. In your heart. IN YOUR SOUL.

Today, we’re going to talk about AWESOMENESS.

Not just any kind of awesomeness, either. The kind that starts and doesn’t stop. Awesomeness as in something you’re in awe of, as in being dumbstruck by the perfection of life itself. The awesomeness of just the right amount of rain for the plants to grow? That is pretty awesome, you’ve got to admit.

But what about the awesomeness of a system in which the plants will support each other, and grow and live happy and healthy lives, and feed the animals and build the soil and provide water for the rivers…

regardless of how much rain falls?

That is what I’m talking about.

I recently took a hiatus from my blog, due to some serious upheavals in my life. After four years together, I decided to end my engagement, which meant leaving the enchanted cabin in the woods that was my home. My (now ex) fiancée is a great man and we had a good thing going, but in my heart I knew that it wasn’t right. If drought came, we would not be able to sustain each other without the benefit of rain.

I won’t get into the details, except to say that none are sordid or scandalous. The only scandalous part is that I left a future certain to be pretty great in a previously mentioned enchanted cabin with a great guy… for a future of uncertainty. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m now living with my parents (I pay rent! Somehow that makes it better!) I have no reliable vehicle. I have no savings. I have joint custody of two rambunctious dogs.

Why would a person with any common-sense do such a thing?

I had a good amount of it in my ‘other life’, the one I left. But I knew, as mentioned, that it just wasn’t right. I felt a tug in my heart towards greater abundance… not just for me, but for my (now ex) fiancée, too. So I took a risk. It was really hard, and it continues to be hard, but I know that it was the right choice and I have absolute faith that it will work out beautifully for both of us.

Since making that decision, a host of opportunities have opened up before me. I have an amazing group of friends who live close to my parents’ house. I have two separate interviews to be a bona-fide landscape designer this summer season, starting before I even graduate with my certification! I’m publishing two books this summer.

When I left my relationship, the future opened up.

So today, whatever day it is that you find yourself reading this, I ask you if there is something awesome that you have decided you cannot have in your life. If there is something not-as-awesome that you have resigned yourself to living with. Or if there is a dream, half-formed, knocking quietly at the door to your mind.

If there is, it might be time to take a look at that something.