Hello, internet.

Today’s topic is how to inspire great admiration in legions of fans simply by appearing awesome. Specifically, the gender of awesomeness towards which you will be aspiring in this exercise is:

Publishing Success, aka Author Awesomeness.

These days, quantity trumps quantity in much of our day to day lives. It’s terrible. Advertising sucks, so we are surrounded with a literally endless stream of it at all times. Battlestar Galactica is awesome, so it’s never on TV.

You see what I mean?

In order to embody Author Awesomeness and achieve Publishing Success (which is like an orgasm,  only you can theoretically pay bills with it), you must tread the haphazard trapeze-line between these two extremes (those two extremes being quality and quantity).

Write and publish many books, young grasshopper. But don’t publish every thing you write.

At least, not before you edit it.

With these steps firmly in mind, I have been giving myself pep-talks around the goal of Multiple Publications, And Soon! In fact, I have six or seven up-and-coming, soon-to-be-published titles. That’s right! Six or seven of them! An impressive figure that gives the appearance of wild success!

Here is how I did it:

Step 1. Have an idea for a book. Start to write the book. Work on it a little bit every few days.

Step 2. Repeat Step 1. Six or Seven times.

Ok! Great work! You are on your way to Wild Success as a New Author!

Seriously, though, I am getting ‘very close’ to finishing three of these books. I have set myself the deadline of Sept. 24, 2012, to have all three available on Kindle. Ambitious?

Maybe. But I doubt that I would be emanating an indescribable aura of Wild Success and Author Awesome without living life ON THE EDGE.

Of course, now that I have set this date (with seventeen days to go), I have discovered several things.

1. One of those books sort of sucks, and I don’t know how to fix it (though I do have a great idea for the cover art).

2. I am great at coming up with great ideas for cover art.

3. Like patios (which I am also great at envisioning), I have no talent in making those ideas into actual, real-life covers.

Luckily, one of the most important aspects of Author Awesomeness is to act so convincingly successful that even you are stunned into intellectual submission, and believe that Lifetime Publishing Success must be just around the corner.

On that note, I’m going to get back to editing. Seventeen days may not be much, but I’m sure it’s enough to learn graphic design. And fix a book. No big deal.